All in a day's work
by Alia Inverse
Summary: Two-shot. Tristan and Isolde decide to settle down in Camelot after Arthur returns to the throne, and so their ordinary days begin... as ordinary as they can get in Camelot, anyway. Let us pray the can keep their sanity at the end of the week.
1. Go to the dungeons

**Warnings: Silliness, OOCness, overuse of cliches, some typos and overall bad attempts at humor.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. Also, I don't want to plagiarize anything, if one of the chapters seems too similar to something already written, please tell me and I'll take it down. ^^**

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><p>The city was safe once again, and the citizens rebuilt their homes and replanted their crops with the expertise of those who suffer their impending doom once every year. Once again Arthur was King and Morgana was on the run, so Tristan and Isolde (I know what you are thinking: Isolde is dead! What is she doing here? Well, let's say that the one who died was Isolde's evil twin sister, who was in fact called Dahlia.) decided to spend a few days there, since they had run out of men, horses and things to smug in general.<p>

And the idea of settling down _did_ sound real good, especially now that no one would think Isolde had multiple personality disorder, so Camelot seemed as good a place as any. Once you removed evil half-sisters, random magical monsters and assassination attempts, it was probably a rather normal and maybe even a bit boring place, wasn't it?

The first time the couple shared their thoughts with someone, they were given a very long, very awkward look until the person shook his head and walked away muttering, _'newcomers'_.

And so, their 'normal' days in the city began…

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><p><strong>Day 1: Go to the dungeons.<strong>

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><p>The day, of course, started in a very predictable way. A noble from the border came with his entourage, and they spent a couple of days in the castle. It was to be expected, a lot of Lords came around this time of the year to assess the damage and see what they could do or how to get benefits out of it. And so it was that, on the third day, the noble requested an audience with the King, with the Knights of the Round Table, Tristan, Isolde, Gaius and Merlin present.<p>

"I am very thankful for your hospitality, my Liege, that is why it pains me to bring you bad news." His tone seemed just a tiny bit too repentant to actually be true.

"What is it?" Arthur sat on the throne, frowning.

"This is Robert, a man who has my complete trust. He claims that he has seen… a sorcerer. Perfoming magic, here in the castle." The guy was brown haired, brown eyed, overall uninteresting and probably a major bootlicker.

"It was your manservant, my Lord. I saw Merlin using magic, no doubt about it."

There was a deadly silence for a few seconds. Tristan blood froze; he had seen how loyal Merlin was, and he had seen Arthur turn back on a dark tunnel possibly full of enemies to find him, but magic… he wondered how the King would react. He tried to spy the reactions of the room but most of them were so stone-faced that he couldn't tell what they were thinking. Gwaine did seem to find it pretty funny, which was weird; the blond had thought that he was fond of the boy.

Arthur just stood there for several seconds before sighing. "Merlin, go to the dungeons."

Of course, the servant didn't stay quiet at this. "What? Why do _I_ have to? You are not even going to call some guards to drag me away?"

"We don't have time for this, _Mer_lin, they have better things to do than babysitting you. Go."

"But I don't want to! The dungeons are filthy, dark, cold, there are _spiders_ and really, that man last week swore that–"

"Don't be such a _girl_, everyone here has been in the dungeons once or twice. Even Sir Leon. Do you see _him_ complaining?"

"Can't I go to the stocks instead?"

"Yes. After you go to the dungeons."

"Dollop-cabbage-headed prat, and then you wonder why I am always late. Fine. Three hours and I'll break myself out."

"_Mer_lin…"

"Five hours?" The prince just glared at him.

"Alright, alright, I'm going." Merlin sent one last exasperated look at the people reunited there, and the couple could clearly see Gaius, _Gaius_, shrugging. Then he left.

Thankfully, they weren't the only ones surprised at the odd exchange. The noble scratched his head and spoke again. "Err… my Lord? Do you think is, ah, wise to let a sorcerer go free like that? What if he flees?"

"He knows the consequences if he does. Well, if there is nothing else, you are dismissed." And before anyone could utter another word he stood up and left the room. The noble and his servant shared a look before leaving, confused about what had happened.

"Great." Gwaine complained. "Now Princess won't have anyone to bully in the training field. Really, couldn't that Lord Whatever wait a day?"

The Court Physician was angry too. "The excuses that boy uses to not clean the leech tank." Everyone made a disgusted face at the mental image. Then Isolde decided that things had gone far enough really, and that they should be at least a bit worried that one of his friends would most definitely be sentenced to die. "Aren't you worried about Merlin?"

Everyone stared at her. "Nah."

That evening, after worrying like crazy for hours, Tristan and Isolde decided to break Merlin out and become outlaws again if that was what it took. Very determined they went to the dungeons, knocked the guard –called Bill– out, stole the keys and searched for the cell…

…which wasn't all that hard to find. There were a few candles inside, some pillows and even a small bookcase! The prisoner was sitting in the middle with the back turned to them, grumbling something under his breath and…

"Merlin? What on Earth are you doing?" Isolde asked, and the boy turned startled, showing a full armor and a sword by his side.

"I'm polishing Arthur's armor and sharpening his sword, what else? I wanted to have this done earlier, but Bill was here telling me a recipe with chicken that sounds actually quite good, do you want it?"

"Um, yes, that would be great but… shouldn't you be… you know… trying to escape or to claim your innocence… or something?"

"Why?"

"Because they are going to execute you tomorrow?"

"Nah, it never gets that far. I would give it another ten minutes or so."

Ten minutes later, Arthur came with two guards and the servant who had inculpated Merlin. He opened the cell. "It seems like Robert was trying to inculpate you to get your post, so the charges are cleared. You can go."

"Impressive, it only took you eight hours this time."

The King smiled deviously. "Now, I think I heard you say that you wanted to be put on the stocks?"

Merlin groaned and went back to the cell. "I'll be here, if someone needs me. Umm… I should really paint the walls, this grey is pretty depressing."

Finally one of the guards took pity in the couple, and explained cheerfully that Merlin was accused of sorcery at least once or twice every month. They actually had tried to make him a plaque with his name on the cell, but Aggravaine had thrown a fit when he saw it, so they took it down. And with all the destruction going around now, no one knew where it was, so they let it be.

(Incidentally, about ten days later another visitor accused Merlin of sorcery and Tristan offered his help to paint the whole cell white and blue, as an apology to poor Bill).

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><p><strong>Please review if you liked it! I'm actually writing this on a notebook between classes and lunch breaks, so there won't be quick updates, sorry.<strong>


	2. Adopted!

**Warnings and disclaimers: First chapter**

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><p><strong>Day 2: Adopted!<strong>

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><p>The King was solemn when he arrived at our favorite blondes' house, Merlin in tow with a particularly exasperated look on his face. Wondering what was wrong with him, they let them pass and closed the door. Arthur sat down, sighing dramatically.<p>

"I need you to swear that you won't breathe a word about what I am about to tell you." They nodded while Merlin snorted and rolled his eyes. "This is a matter of state, and a rather delicate one." He carefully checked the door and the windows for eavesdroppers, eyed suspiciously at the cupboard and took a deep breath. "I am adopted!"

After several seconds of silence, "I'm sorry, what?

"Think about it. It makes perfect sense! Every Pendragon I've met has been evil, a psychopath or a weird mix of those. Why else would _all_ of them betray me?"

"Because you are a prat."

"This is _not_ funny, _Mer_lin. I can't believe Uther lied to me all those years. When I think about my real parents, missing me... What do I do? If someone finds out I am not a Pendragon, I'll have to give up my rights to the crown!"

"Go figure." Tristan said, not sure if he should laugh or be angry. Really, _royalty_...

"It is not because of that... which it is. The next in line is Morgana, I took her throne. No wonder she is such a... a..."

"manipulative witch?" Isolde said.

"stuck-up chick?" Tristan offered, and she smacked him on the arm.

"smirking, childish, supercilious villain?" Merlin finished, and shrugged to the couple. Isolde began to feel the beginnings of a nasty headache.

"Arthur, I know you are still feeling hurt because of your uncle's betrayal, but really, that is not enough to think that you are adopted of all things."

"I couldn't be more different from them! I'm not evil!" Arthur moaned.

"I've seen you train your knights, and I've heard them after that saying that you are evil." She retorted.

"I'm not nuts."

"You set to reconquer the city with just a handful of men, you went against an immortal army with five and you faced a dragon one on one. On the contrary, you are quite insane."

"I... I'm blond!"

"Morgause was blonde too." All three glared at the secret warlock. "What? If Morgana is Morgause's half-sister and Arthur is Morgana's half-brother, then Morgause is Arthur's quarter-sister, obviously. And she was blonde, evil and had been dropped on the head one time too many as a kid."

"Well, all of them tried to kill my father. How do you explain that?"

"You tried that too, remember? And by that rule, half of the magical community would be related to Uther." Arthur moaned and slammed his head against the table. After a few moments though, he looked up and smiled.

"I see. I am not adopted. How could I have been so stupid!"

"Glad we agree on something, _sire._" That earned the servant a whack in the head. "I just don't know who my father is."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, it's not like Uther has never lied about something like that. And Morgana is just a year older or so than me. I can see it now… He married my mother for convenience, then they both found true love… and one thing lead to another… and-"

"We don't need to hear it." Tristan deadpanned.

"I need to find him! I can't live with this doubt any longer! Let's see, he must have been living in the castle… Gaius?"

"Arthur! He could be your grandfather!"

"… Leon?"

"For goodness' sake, he was _seven_ when you were born."

"Look, if, and I'm just saying 'if', it were true, why would he still be in Camelot? Uther didn't seem like the kind of man to let something like that slide… uh oh." Isolde stopped trying to reason with the King when his face frowned in concentration. That wasn't good.

"Merlin, you are younger than me."

"Yes?"

"And you like me in a totally bromantic way."

"Uh… I guess?"

"And you never met your father!"

"Wait a minute here, you're not-"

"Why else would you be so annoying to me? It is obvious that our father came to Camelot because the King called him with the excuse of making peace. Then he betrayed and banished him and he had to flee to Ealdor, and he started a new life but Uther pursued him and he had to flee again before even knowing he had two sons! I'm so glad I found you, little brother!"

Now that was the last straw. Merlin went pale, then his face changed to red and then he began shouting at Arthur for ten minutes straight about the insensitive moron that he was, and that destiny might as well be blind – no one quite understood that part – and that he was going to chew Kilgarrah's out before storming out and slamming the door shut behind him.

"Poor boy, he is in denial."

After that, Arthur casually left the house, leaving behind two very bewildered smugglers. The episode _did_ have a good side, however, since soon after that no blond, evil, slightly crazy sorcerer would _ever_ attempt to take the King's life again. Not if they didn't want to have nightmares about a grown man chasing after then while whining and calling them 'daddy'.


End file.
